Thursday 10 January 2013

The Top Ten Fictional Mentors (In order of 'Bad*ness) [*Bad is used here in the sense of 'extremely impressive']


10 Bruce Wayne

There are three incarnations of Bruce Wayne as mentor.  The earliest is the slightly over-earnest, grey spandex wearing, slightly overbearing 'father figure' of the 1960's 'BIFF', 'THWACK' really really camp Batman and Robin series.



Next we have the brilliant bitter, old and twisted (physically and emotionally) retired Batman / Bruce Wayne of the Brilliant futuristic animated series 'Batman of the Future' where the old goat has passed on 'cape and cowl' to teenager terry McGinnis while he 'runs 'tings' from the Bat Cave.  McGinnis has to balance being Batman with homework, babysitting and keeping his girlfriend happy.


Finally, we have the semi-retired Batman of the recent movie 'The Dark Knight Rises' where Bruce Wayne/Batman is as much inspired/motivated by the young police officer John Blake (who's figured out his secret identity) as the other way around, and who leaves Blake 'The Batman' in his will.



My personal fav? Bitter, old, twisted and animated!

9. Obi Wan Kenobi


Being responsible for the training of both Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker- the two most significant figures in the Star Wars saga -gets Obi Wan on this list, even though he messed up royally with Anakin.  Played to brilliant effect by Alec Guinness and Ewan McGregor '....You were the chosen one.......!!!!'


8. Lord Matsumoto Moritsugu



Ken Watanabe's portrayal of this inspiring old world samurai warrior-poet earned him an Oscar nomination and almost made us forgive one of Tom Cruise's most annoying performances in an otherwise utterly forgettable movie.  It was brilliant the way Watanabe radiated calm from his Buddhist temple in the Samurai village.

7. Master Yoda



He's trained Jedi for over 900 years, need I say more?  Slightly ridiculous CGI version of his younger self in the later Star Wars films.  Check out Tartokofsy's brilliant animated version of him in the excellent animated 'Clone Wars' (as opposed to the CGI ' Clone Wars').

6. Ducard / Ras Al Gul



Batman's Mentor turned enemy-when Bruce Wayne declined to share in Ducard's expansion of revenge for his wife's murder, into a misanthropic murderous campaign against everyone everywhere who might not be very nice.  Captain Ahab would be proud.  A hard, bitter and twisted taskmaster.  I bet he was bullied at school.  A note, Bruce Wayne/Batman's enemies are always versions of himself.  There are who he may have become had he failed to keep the lust for revenge at bay.

5. Colonel Kurtz 


 Marlon Brando in an iconic performance.  How many mentors do you know who decapitate their victims while quoting TS Eliot?  By the time Willard realises that Kurtz is 'mentoring' him, from a distance, through his file, it's too late!!!  He is to Moritsugu what Darth Vader is to Luke Skywalker.

4.Mr Miyagi


He's Mr Miyagi.  He's fat Coca Cola in a glass bottle.  Everyone else on this list is Coca Cola in a plastic bottle (diet, zero, etc..etc..) or Sainsbury's / Morrisons 'cola drink'.


3. Pai Mei



All of the mentors up until now have been real 'baad-aasses' who nevertheless retained a kind of humility or emotional vulnerability and there is an understanding that this is in fact part of their strength.  Not this guy.  Tarantino's sadistic task master is 'Baad' and he knows he's 'Baad' (he even has the same shoes and socks as Michael Jackon).  It's Darwinian.  He's at the top of the food chain and he knows it.  Reminds me of my old 11+plus tutor Mrs Koshi.

2. Li Mu Bai



The legendary swordsman who just wants to give up thrashing bad guys and live the quiet life with equally Michelle Yeoh (don't we all).  However he is drawn to the precocious and rare martial arts talent of Zhang Ziyi's 'Jen'.  Amazing sequence where he gives Jen (who is no mug) a fencing lesson with a tree branch (while she uses his legendary antique sword 'The Green Destiny').  He subdues her with the stick.  Later on in the film he moonwalks on water proving that he really is Michael Jackson 'Baad'.

1. Master Toda



He is referred to at certain points in Yamada's subtle melodrama 'The Hidden Blade'.  It's the end of the 'Samurai way', the West is encroaching on Japan.  Master Toda, legendary fencing master has apparently seen the writing on the wall and given up his Samurai status to become a farmer (for which he is mocked).  Towards the end of the film, he makes a 5 minute appearance as Kategiri (the film's main protagonist) seeks out his old fencing teacher for one last lesson as he has to fight someone whom he is not confident of beating.  Kategiri arrives on Toda's farm to see the old man tilling some soil.  He asks for help.  The old man picks up the Kendo training sword used for practice and selects a bit of bamboo lying on the ground for himself (he only has the one Kendo sword) and obliges.  I would trade all the other films on this list for the 5 minutes that Master Toda is on camera in this movie.  The film is also the most profound on this list